All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news.
MEXICO CITY — U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents stationed outside Estadio Azteca this week acknowledged that they are operating entirely outside U.S. legal jurisdiction, adding that they don’t really see why that should be a problem.
“We go where the work is,” said Agent Tom Pruitt, who flew to Mexico City on Tuesday on what ICE described in a press release as “an operational deployment” and Mexican authorities described as “absolutely not authorized and please leave.”
The Mexican government issued three formal diplomatic protests, all of which ICE said it would “take under advisement.” The U.S. State Department said it was “looking into the matter.”
Agents reported detaining eleven individuals outside the stadium before the Mexican National Guard intervened and explained, at some length, how countries work.
“They made some interesting points,” Pruitt conceded, “but we did get eleven.”
The White House defended the operation, saying that sovereignty is “a globalist concept” and that ICE agents had acted “with tremendous courage and very good instincts.”
All eleven detainees were released by Mexican authorities. Nine are Mexican citizens. One is German. The final detainee was a Texan man who had overstayed his Mexican tourist visa.
ICE has requested funding for a permanent Mexico City field office.
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